Hello, Boy Kill Boy!
Hello Slashmusic!

Right. Let's talk about killing stuff.
I want to talk about whales.

OK then. If, say, a whale swims up the Thames, should it be shot and eaten, or should it be made King Of All England for being so brave and masterful?
Neither. We should all swim inside of it, Pinocchio style, and make ourselves a little home. You just have to use your imagination, where there's a will there's a way.

Or indeed, where there's a will there's a whale. So, are you a murderer if you wear a coat made of whale or gorilla, or do you actually have to kill and skin it?
When I heard about Pete Burns' coat it was kinda funny. I was answering questions for GQ recently and one was what are my top three stylish and top three unstylish men of the year. Pete Burns was definitely one of them.

Was he in the top three stylish or unstylish?
That's a GQ exclusive! But I can say I think he's a f**king wanker. I don't like his clothes either and I thought that the whole gorilla coat thing was the sickest f**king thing in the country right now. He's a sick c**t.

We hate lazy assumptions, but we're going to guess that he wasn't in your top three stylish…
No, he was on the more negative side of my choices.

When you were a boy, did you go around killing things?
Well, I used to have Tic Tac boxes which I used to keep ants in. I had a love-hate relationship with ants. If they were in my Tic Tac box they were my best friends, but if they were on my driveway and I had a bottle of Fairy Liquid in my hand, then maybe they became kind of enemies.

My friend had a pet snake. Hs brother put it in the freezer and it curled up dead and rotten like an old pizza. He was absolutely distraught. He was my blood brother and we had to do something so we sacrificed a frog in memory of the snake. I can't tell you how we killed it, it's too f**king sick. I think you do things like that when you're really young and then you realise. I didn't feel good after that. I thought, that's going to stay with me for the rest of my life what I did that day. I never want to do anything like that ever again.

Have you killed anything since?
These days I like the religion of the Jains. We were thinking of calling our band the Jains just in tribute of how f**king great they are. I don't know enough about it to be gospel but, it's basically a branch of Hinduism and Buddhism with complete respect for every living thing. You're not allowed to move for fear of treading on ants, you're meant to wear masks so that you don't breathe in any insects from the atmosphere. The ultimate way to find God is to starve yourself to death through salekhana.

We'll stick with the praying, thanks, we'd miss Quavers too much. So, have you ever killed a person?
I did once, but it was in a dream, I don't know if that counts. I only dreamt about beating people up and I dreamt about beating up one guy in particular who caused one of my mates' testicles to erupt by kneeing him constantly in the bollocks. I'd like to mention his name but I guess that's a bit wrong. The guy was a real bully, but I've experienced both sides of that coin.

Do tell...
One of my biggest regrets in life was that I went off the rails for a year and I thought I was one of the Krays for a period of time with the guy who'd helped me kill the frog. We were getting a bit picked on and the way we dealt with it was to become very violent for a while.

Right. Let's get serious for a moment. Boys killing boys is quite bad. So, should boys kiss boys instead?
Yeah, I think boys should kiss everyone. I'm not saying to all blokes go out and kiss other boys, it's not something I do every day, but it's better to promote love through irony than irony through hate.

Would you be more prone to killing or kissing boys?
I kissed a boy in Koko once, but that was my best mate and it was a dare. It was also under the influence of about seventeen Snakebites. But therefore, I've probably kissed more boys than I have killed them.

All right, that's what we like to hear. Thank you very much Boy Kill Boy!
No, thank you Slashmusic...

Boy Kill Boy's splendid single 'Back Again' is released on February 13 on Vertigo.

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