Hello George Evelyn, Nightmares On Wax.
Hello Slashmusic.

Are you wearing a smoking jacket and enjoying a 'special' cigarette?
No. But I do own a poor man’s smoking jacket. It’s an electric blue velour robe, but I’m open to offers if anyone wants to buy me a paisley smoking jacket. I can wear it and lean on my fireplace and smoke a pipe with a real open fire and firewood from the garden.

And a small dog nestling by your feet as well?
A dog sounds like too much commitment.

How about an ornamental dog?
You’ve got me worked out! Are you psychic?

No, it's all done with string and mirrors. Can you still break dance?
Only when I’m drunk.

Best move, drunk or otherwise?
A head spin. I span around so much that I lost my hair. So my advice to that is - don’t break dance if you’re receding!

Will Young take note! Have you ever had a dance off?
Yeah! Back in the day, we were the 1985 West Yorkshire Soul City Rockers Breakdancing Champions.

That’s nearly as impressive as the fact you hail from the same hometown as Jimmy Saville - is there anything you’d like him to fix for you?
Not after seeing him on Louis Theroux. My opinion of Jimmy Saville changed from that day on. Eugh. But I actually wrote to Jimmy to fix it for me to meet Mikey Dread who was a reggae artist and producer back in the day.

We could call Jimmy afterwards and get him to work his magic…
I’m not comfortable with the idea. I’d rather use the internet and try finding him myself.

But then you don’t get the medal.
Yeah but I don’t think that kind of bling would suit my smoking jacket. If you’re going to look stylish in a smoking jacket you’ve got to sack all that bling because otherwise you’re just going to look like MTV Base. It’s just not slick

Indeed. Have you ever had a nightmare with wax - like trying to wax your own legs?
Waxing my own legs, oh no. Will you do it for me?

No chance! Bye George! We hope you get your smoking jacket though...
I’ll be waiting by the letter box and I’ll be disappointed if not. Thank you for your support and you keep smiling.

Thank you very much Nightmares On Wax!
No Slashmusic, thank you!

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